The Power of Relationship

Your first year of teaching- you are going to make some mistakes.  You will make somebody mad.  You will have to talk to a parent or several parents.  You will come to class ill-prepared or you’ll work all night on a slam dunk lesson and the students will not cooperate.  You will have days where you feel like you nailed it and other days where you will want to crawl under a rock and then hope the next day doesn’t come.  At least one of these scenarios will go down your first year of teaching.

I know you’re not shocked by this.  You didn’t choose this profession because you thought it would be easy.  However, knowing it in your head and experiencing it first-hand are very different.  So what is the point of my warning you with what you already know?  I want to encourage you.  I know.  I’ve got a funny way of doing it, don’t I?  So with the ups and downs and the challenges that await you in your first classroom, you have something very powerful on your side…relationship. 

Your students want to know you care about them, that you truly want them to succeed in your class.  They want to connect with you.  They want to trust you.  As you prepare your lessons and grade the tests and teach your content, don’t forget to notice your students.  Teachers have to spin a lot of plates and it’s easy to put the plate that is your students in the cabinet.  It’s easy to focus on your own agenda.

Try to get to know your students.  When they come into class, ask them what they did over the weekend.  Ask them how they’re feeling that day.  If they say, “Not great,” ask them why.  They may not say anything, but if they feel like your genuine eventually they will answer you.  Let them know it's okay to be honest in your classroom as long as they’re respectful.  Find out what they’re into.  Play one of their favorite songs in class and plan a lesson around it.  Talk about one of their favorite movies and let them write about it.  Let them know they matter if they really do matter to you. 

Do you want to get your students’ attention?  Then notice them.  Do you want them to engage with what you’re teaching?  Then help them believe they matter to you.  Go to their games.  Go to their choir concerts.  Get behind a cause they believe in.  Don’t be afraid to talk to them beyond, “Where’s your homework?”  You want them to be on your side.  No, the goal doesn’t need to be that you're popular with your students.  The goal needs to be that you create a wonderful learning environment that includes relationships with your students inside your classroom.  Reaching this goal will make your classroom a safe place where students can grow and learn.  The average student just wants to come to class, sit there, not be noticed and leave when the bell rings.  But the average teenager feels self-conscious about walking into your classroom and wonders if you like them much less notice them.  They’re craving something wonderful that sets them apart and helps them feel a little more than average. 

You can be that something wonderful.

 It may take a little while.  Slowly but surely, after you’ve been consistent in getting to know them, they will trust you and not only learn what you’re teaching but will strive to do well because they want to please you. 

There is power in relationship.  Relationships with your students bring about change.  So notice them.  Let them matter to you.  That’s how you teach and that’s how they’ll learn.